I've Never Been To Me

說到我和【I｀ve Never Been To Me】的邂逅真可說是偶然與巧合，去年在日本時，一天陪小姪女萌衣（Moe）到阿姨家附近一家規模有如台灣百貨公司的超市アルプラ裡的文具店買東西時，聽到了店裡放的音樂，突然像是被閃電打到，我頭皮發麻地佇立在音響下許久，彷彿是要把每一個音符都烙印在腦海裡一樣聆聽著。當下，我實在非常想知道這首歌的歌名，便仔細注意它的歌詞，猜想或許可以從這裡得到一點蛛絲馬跡，果然發現到演唱者不斷地重複著 I｀ve never been to me這句歌詞，於是回到家後就立刻上網搜尋，果不其然終於讓我找到了這首歌【I｀ve Never Been To Me】。主唱者是一位曇花一現的美國歌手Charlene，【I｀ve Never Been To Me】是她唯一的代表作。

I'VE NEVER BEEN TO ME

(Written by Ken Kirsch and Ronald Miller)

Hey lady, you lady, cursing at your life

You're a discontented mother and a regimented wife

I've no doubt you dream about the things you'll never do

But I wish someone had talked to me like I wanna talk to you

Oh, I've been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run

I took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun

But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free

I've been to paradise but I've never been to me

Please lady, please lady, don't just walk away

'Cause I have this need to tell you why I'm all alone today

I can see so much of me still living in your eyes

Won't you share a part of a weary heart that has lived a million lies....

Oh, I've been to Niece and the Isle of Greece while I've sipped champagne on a yacht

I've moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed 'em what I've got

I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things that a woman ain't supposed to see

I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

[Spoken]

Hey, you know what paradise is? It's a lie

A fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be

But you know what truth is?

It's that little baby you're holding

It's that man you fought with this morning

The same one you're going to make love with tonight

That's truth, that's love

Sometimes I've been to crying for unborn children that might have made me complete

But I took the sweet life, I never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet

I've spent my life exploring the subtle whoring that costs too much to be free

Hey lady, I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

【I｀ve Never Been To Me】陪著我渡過了因為忘記帶CD而嚴重"音樂"不良的兩個多月在日本的生活，特別是心情蕩到谷底的八月底，我時常打開電腦不斷replay這首歌，披散著頭髮躺在房間的木板地上，一邊聽著一邊想 I've been to paradise, but I never been to me這句話，我可以無憂無慮十分命好地在日本兩個多月，大肆花錢買這買那，拖著有些年紀的阿姨和姨丈兩位老人家，要他們陪我在京都上山下海，這不就好像是置身在天堂麼？但是，我卻覺得總是缺少了些什麼，總是覺得還不夠、不滿足，那麼我真正希望的到底是個什麼樣的天堂？